gracemissylolasmom's Blog

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A subject of which my Lord, and Savior, has taught me much in the past 10 years since my divorce in 2004…


Forgiveness, first and foremost, allows God the opportunity to move, within you when you release the bitterness, anger, hurt and depression to Him. Of all who may handle someone’s anger and hurt, He is the only one truly qualified.

The second thing forgiveness does is it frees up the stranglehold you have on the person who hurt you so that God can move in their life. How, and what, God does in their life, you may never come to know about. Because forgiveness alone does not necessarily guarantee reconciliation.

Forgiveness it’s said is for you, to let go of the negative emotions, the horrible memories, the constant internal dialogue where you recount every word, and inflection or tone of voice used by the persecuting party.

There is more that has to happen, however, if you are to reconcile to the party who injured you. You must also be able to say you are “sorry”. Being sorry means you recognize that the words or actions you said or did towards someone hurt them, in many cases deeply, and you regret causing them pain. It means you can empathize with their hurt, anger, bitterness, rage or resentment towards you for hurting them.

In some cases, however, the offense is small enough that it seems counterintuitive to have and need to forgive and feel sorry in order to reconcile. But humans at their base, sin nature are programmed to judge one another, and things, as ‘good’ or ‘evil’. That is essentially what eating of the tree of good & evil did for us humans. Gave us all the judgement and fairness and none of the grace and mercy. So when we are slighted, or feel taken advantage of, we tend to take an offense, judge it as not good, and condemn the persecutor.

That leads to a relationship that is strained or broken. Without forgiveness and being sorry, and meaning it, there can be no reconciliation.

I have heard it said that ‘if you can recall all the words, the tone of voice, the look on someone’s face when you argued/disagreed with them, then you have not truly forgiven the offense.’ You are still bitter and resentful whether the recollection of these facts brings up strong, negative emotions or not.

Jesus said, when asked, that we are to forgive our offenders 7 x 70 times – that is 490 times if I have done my math correctly. Why else would he say we must forgive 490 times if he knew we would struggle with forgiving our offenders?

What does it take to truly let it go? It means you must not continue to carry the bitter anger and resentment you feel towards the one who hurt you. If we are all able to see ourselves the way Jesus/God sees us, as His beloved children, then we can much more easily get to a place of forgiveness.

If Jesus casts our sin as far as the East is from the West, then why can’t we toss the regret and hurt just as far? If God can forgive the most horrible of us, and bring them into His presence in Heaven, then who are we to hold a grudge?!?

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Author: gracemissylolasmom

I am 44 years old. I love the Lord, God my Savior above all else. I am a mom to 3 dogs who are the delight of my life. I love my nephews and family fiercely. I am a project manager. I volunteer for an organization called Ncompass. I am going to be blogging about all the subjects...and more!

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