Continual, “no end in sight” stressful circumstances, how does one hold on to faith that the promises God has made will come true for us?
That is a question I am deeply entrenched in living out right now. And I find my faith wavers. At moments, I believe in God’s promises of a future of prosper and good things. At other moments, I cannot see the end in sight of my struggles and I feel so alone! Those moments challenge my faith the most.
So the question remains: do I believe in what I say I believe in? Namely, that God is for me…that He does not want me to suffer…yet when I do, what do I hold on to? My Lord or my doubt.
Isaiah 43:2 NIV
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
I want to be the one who holds on to my Lord, but I fear more often I hold in reserve my doubt. So how many ways, and how many times, must it take for me to accept that God will help? He has already helped by sending me to the right surgeon, for my hip. When I bought my house 6.5 years ago now, and lost my 11 year job a mere 5 days after moving in to my new house, I trusted Him then…that He wouldn’t have allowed me to get this house and take it away before I made my fist payment even.
Where is that faith now? Why does it falter now? What makes me not trust Him – who Loves me more than any human ever could – and whom I profess to believe that He Loves me more than any human ever could?
I think part of the answer is I cannot see the end in sight of the stress or of the circumstances. Not that I knew how He would help in the other circumstances, yet those somehow seemed less than my current ones. Or is just that I am weary of having one challenge after another after another? Yes, actually!
So is my faith less because my need is greater? Hmm…not what I had expected myself to be struggling with now, yet here I am! Struggling yet hoping! Hoping and believing!
J. E. Morse
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